Zareen, existence is so generous, life is so bountiful that one
need not deserve, need not be worthy to receive its gifts. On the
contrary, one has to be absolutely humble, a nobody - receptive,
available, with all the doors of the heart open, trusting - and
existence showers on him flowers, like rain. The experience deepens
one's humbleness and creates a new quality in one's being, of which
one is generally not aware - that of gratefulness, gratefulness to
all, gratefulness to the whole.
Do we deserve life? Do we deserve love? The very idea of deserving has been implanted in us by the marketplace. What do these trees deserve? But the sun comes every day and the stars come every night, and the trees are constantly in silent meditation. They are also waiting.
And waiting is not greed, waiting is simply our nature, waiting means that our doors are open and we are ready to welcome the guest whenever he comes.
Zareen, you are asking:
Just to be, and just to be nobody is all that one needs, to deserve. No other virtues, no other qualities but just a simple and loving heart - a heart that is open and ready to receive the guest.
No. Greed is violent, greed is demanding.
It is simply a loving, longing, waiting. And how can one avoid the
waiting and longing? The difference between greed and longing is
very clear: greed is aggressive, it has to be so; it is a demand and
an expectation, and then it becomes ugly. But if your heart is
simply waiting, with no demand, then there is no question of greed.
The people who know the secret of the open heart, the secret of being nobody, are the most deserving of all that is beautiful, of all that is divine, of all that transcends our mundane existence. Nothing else is needed... just that you should be absent, a pure space, and you are ready to receive the guest.
But man has believed in God in as ugly a way as possible, because his God is nothing but all his desires, all his demands. It is not a humble prayer, a humble invitation.
Our so-called idea of God is just a means to serve us. You may
not have ever thought about it, that your God is nothing but a
servant. He has to do this, he has to do that. The true religious
man is a servant to God; he has no demand. He has only one longing:
that God may use him for His purposes. He wants to become nothing
but a hollow bamboo flute, so God can sing His song through him. He
simply wants not to obstruct but to remain absolutely empty, so God
can make of his emptiness whatsoever He wants.
This is trust.
And there is no value higher than trust, because trust is the purest form of love.
Zareen, your tears are tears of love, and your waiting for tomorrow is just a longing of the heart - but not desire, because there is no demand.
Just become more and more humble, more and more nobody, more and more spacious - because when I see you, I am not there; I have departed from myself long ago. I have allowed God to take possession of me. I have allowed him to do whatsoever he wants to do with me. I don't know even what the next word is going to be, because it is not coming from me - it is coming only through me.
Just look at my eyes; somebody else is looking through my eyes.
Look at my gestures; they are not mine.
Look at my signatures; they are not mine.
I have lost track of myself so long ago that even if I meet myself, I don't think I will be able to recognize him. And just being a vehicle of God, a vehicle of existence, has been such a fulfillment, such a contentment, such a benediction, that I don't think there can be anything more, deeper, higher.
I am absolutely blessed.
I was also not the deserving one.
I have never practiced any religion, I have never been part of any religious organization, I have never entered temples, churches, or mosques. One thing from the very beginning was clear to me: that there is no way for me to find God, because I don't know his address, I don't know his home. In this vast universe, where am I going to find him? All that I can do is create a longing, a thirst, in every cell of my body and being, and wait.
If God wants to find me, he will find me.
Only he can find me; I cannot find him.
And now, I can say it with absolute authority - that whenever God has happened to anybody, it was not the person's search for God; it was simply the person's waiting and longing. And when the thirst became so much that it was impossible for God to go on hiding... this is the only quality that makes a really religious person deserving. He is a silent waiting, a silent prayer, and a peaceful spaciousness. God comes.
Just don't rationalize when he comes, that it may be the thunder of the clouds, or it may be the wind striking against the doors. Keep the doors open. Keep your eyes open, keep your heart open. He comes. He comes surely, because he has been coming to thousands of people in the whole history of humanity.
And I don't remember a single mystic saying, "I found God because I deserved." The very idea of deserving is of the ego. All the mystics are agreed on the point that God found them, because they cried too much, they longed too much. Their longing was heard; their tears reached God. Prayers may not reach, but tears certainly reach.