A Question of Determination
I set my alarm clock at night and trust it to wake me up when the
morning comes. I sometimes see the Master as an alarm clock that at
any moment may ring like crazy and rouse me from my spiritual
slumber.
Osho, am I simply waiting for you to ring?
Milarepa, I have been ringing and you go on turning from this side
to that side, and you go on pulling your blanket over yourself.
What do you want? Should the alarm clock jump up on you and take the
blanket off, and also throw some cold water on your face? What else
have I been doing? But sleep is such - spiritual sleep - that you
start interpreting even the alarm.
In ordinary sleep you also do it. When the alarm goes off, you have
a dream that you are in a temple and bells are ringing. That is a
trick of your mind. It is deceiving you; it is the alarm clock, not
the temple, not the bells ringing.
Spiritual sleep is far deeper and thicker. First, it is difficult to
hear - and even if you hear it, there is every possibility of
interpreting it as something else. Stop interpreting it. Make it a
point while you are awake - sometimes you are really awake, when you
are with me here - and there are moments when you are touching the
fourth stage of awakening. In those moments make a decision that you
will not forget. This decision just has to be reinforced again and
again in the waking moments; then one day you are going to wake up.
It is everybody′s birthright to wake up. It is our intrinsic
quality. But everything depends on your decisiveness. I have seen
people putting on an alarm clock to wake them up at four o′clock in
the morning, and then, in sleep, just putting it off and going back
to sleep. And in the morning they don′t remember. They look at the
clock: "What happened? I put the alarm on." And I had to tell them,
"Your alarm awakened me and I saw you - you were putting it off."
I have seen people throwing their alarm clocks - so angry, because
at four o′clock one is really in such a beautiful sleep, and this
alarm clock seems like an enemy. People have broken their alarm
clocks, and I have seen it happen in front of me. And I said, "This
is something!" And they went back to sleep. And in the morning they
inquired, "What happened? Who threw my alarm clock?"
And spiritual sleep is certainly far deeper. So your decisions have
to come not with ordinary wakefulness; you have to decide to wake up
when you are really feeling awake. Then the decision goes deep, as
deep as your spiritual sleep. And everybody is going to wake up.
Every night has its morning, and every man has his enlightenment. It
is just a question of when you want it.
Do you really want it? Then it can happen even without any alarm clock. Then it can happen right now.
It happened in Sri Lanka...
A great mystic was at the last
moment of his life, and he gathered his followers. He had
thousand of followers who had been listening to him for
years. And the whole teaching of the Buddhist mystics is
vipassana - watchfulness, witnessing.
Before leaving the body, he said, "Now I am leaving. I will
not be here again tomorrow to tell you to watch, to witness,
to be awake; so if anybody is ready, he should stand up and
I can take him with me."
Everybody looked at each other, thinking that perhaps
somebody might be ready. Just one man raised his hand but he
did not stand up. Out of those thousands, one man raised his
hand. The mystic said, "Even that gives me great
satisfaction."
That man said, "Don′t misunderstand me - I am only raising
my hand. I want to ask - right now I am not ready because
there are so many things to do. My girl is becoming
marriageable, my boy is graduating from the university, my
wife is sick, some help has to be found. I raised my hand
just to ask you, as you will not available again, to tell me
what has to be done."
And the mystic said, "I was telling it my whole life! Where
have you been?"
He said, "I have been coming every day, but what to do? -
the whole night there are worries, all kinds. Only in your
presence do I find peace and fall asleep. So I have not
heard what you have been saying. I wait every morning to
come here because this is the only place where I find peace
and fall asleep. And because tomorrow you will not be here,
I want simply to ask what has to be done."
But not a single man was ready to go or stood up with the
master. And the master laughed. He said, "I was just joking!
I cannot take anybody with me. But I was seeing whether you
have been listening to me or not. And this man is right. And
he is not right only about himself, he is right almost about
everybody. So I will explain vipassana again."
He said, "This time, please don′t fall asleep, remain awake
because this is the last time. I will not be here tomorrow.
Don′t try any kind of consolation - ′he is just joking, he
will be here, he cannot leave us′ - I am certainly going."
And while he was telling them about vipassana, he looked all
around - particularly at the man who had raised his hand. He
was fast asleep! It had become deeply associated - the
master talking about vipassana was the beginning of sleep;
the moment the master started talking about vipassana, the
man felt so peaceful.
The mystic said, "It is useless - you will not hear me
unless the time is ripe for you. Perhaps in some life...."
It is not necessary that a master is needed. If you are awake then anything can function as an alarm. Your symbolism is right: the master is an alarm, but even the alarm of the master cannot function without your cooperation; you have to be with him, available, ready. It is only a question of total determination in a fully awakened state of mind.
(Osho - The Transmission of the lamp #29)